This is it - Don't get scared now

It is here.  Got here very unexpectedly and very quickly.  The one and only EMPTY NEST.

Alicia and Justin were working on their house which is right next to our house and we were all planning this cozy wonderful life and then Justin got a blessing at church encouraging him to look harder for employment . ...  so he was out walking the dogs and got this prompting to call his old boss in Idaho and his boss said, get here in the morning and I'll put you to work.

So 3 days later, Justin had moved back to Blackfoot Idaho to work for Gale Lim Construction.  he is running their ashpalt plant.  And 2 weeks later, Alicia packed up all their stuff and Justin flew back up and they drove down to Blackfoot together.  They rented a house there - just moved in on September 1. 

It has been, and will probably continue to be, sort of traumatic for all of us.  Alicia has said since she was a little tiny girl that she was always going to live in our backyard and all of a sudden, she is thousands of miles away.  In a way it was good it happened so quickly because there was not as much time for us to lose it emotionally, there was so much to do to get everything sorted and packed.  Lots of deciding what belonged to who and what was staying because she didn't have room or time.

The upshot of that being that her Kirby vacuum stayed, but so did both of her great big dogs.  It was a trade-off.  The Kirby stayed because the dogs had to stay and the Kirby exists to clean up after the dogs who shed all the time.  Saying goodbye to her dog pal, Mya, was the hardest part.  They have been pretty unseperable for most of the 5 years we have had her.  Alicia is her girl.

Alicia has pictures of her boarded up house somewhere - I'll check the other computer to see if they are here or with her in Idaho, but as I was getting ready to write this, I saw the happy exciting pictures of the house being built and the pictures of it all boarded and wrapped and unfinished are so sad in comparison; they are heartbreaking to see.

Today was the last day of charter fishermen for us this year.  Brian works at the middle school as a special education aide during the school year and was still running as deckhand for his friend's boat on weekends for the past few weeks.  Done today.

So, for the first time in their marriage, Alicia and Justin are alone as a married couple and for the first time in our marriage, Brian and I are officially alone as a married couple.  We had a couple years when Alicia was in college, but i don't count those since technically, she still lived here.  It will be different.  We hired a woman from church to take care of me during the day when I need help.  I wanted to do without help, but I guess it really isn't possible. 

It looks to be another really long cold winter - never had much of a summer and of course, last winter is on record officially as the longest and coldest and snowiest winter in Alaskan history.  at least since they have been keeping records.  brrrrr. 

So this is it:  a cold, empty nest in Alaska.  Keep us in your thoughts and prayers...  and stay warm.

Still Alive and Kicking

This summer has been full of fish and fish and more fish - but I think Brian is having a good time.  He has been working as a deckhand on a charter boat that belongs to his friend.  On his days off, he goes fishing ??? 

Can't believe school starts in about 3 weeks and then it is back to middle school for him.  He seems to do really well with the middle school kids - they aren't as hardened as high school kids so are easier in some ways to work with...  but he still misses his high school kids and keeps in touch with quite a few of them.

Alicia is now in the Relief Society presidency and Justin was just called to be a counselor in Elder's quorum presidency, so they are busy.  Brian is still avoiding the ward for now - I think he is waiting for some old grouchy people to die before he goes back.  But Charlotte's medications have been changed and she is headed back to church and will have another calling soon. 

Alicia and Justin are building their house on our property.  It will be a cute house for them and a major step for them.  Alicia has only lived away from home while attending college and Justin has never had a home of his own.  It will be hard to have them so far away - it's probably 100 feet away from the house.  What will we do when we want to change the tv from cable to dvd watching ???  I can picture the many phone calls :  I push what button on what remote ?? 

We have not had a summer again this year.  This winter is on record as the coldest and snowiest winter in my lifetime in Alaska and now this summer is on record as the coldest on record.  People are literally snapping and going crazy.  I can relate, but so far, we have held it together.

Alicia and Charlotte have been able to work on quilting and crafting a lot this spring.  Since February, they have pieced 21 quilt tops.  Waiting until the kids move out to turn the downstairs into a quilting room that is just tables lined up where we can pin quilts.  We have been going to the church for that - which is 25 miles, one direction (50 miles round trip), which was fine when we were doing one or two quilts a year...  but we are on track to make 50 quilts this year.  That is just too much driving back and forth at $5.00 a gallon of gas. 

I'll see if Alicia can post some pictures of fish and her house and maybe some of our quilts.  Happy Summer..

Blake

This picture was taken in 1983 - Alicia was 3 and Blake was 12.  Charlotte was 30 and Grandma Lusk was 70.

Blake at age 2.

Blake at age 21

Blake in 2nd or 3rd grade. 

Christmas 2011

During the holidays, we blog as an extended family on our other blog:  http://family-christmas.blogspot.com/


I have posted a few posts this week.  Sometimes, you have to guess which family member has posted.  We'll work on that so it isn't so confusing.  You can usually tell which one are mine because we mention Alaska or our names or something. 

Happy Christmas to you all.  Love, Charlotte

Daddy's Obit

Name: Theodore Herbert Whisler Gender: Male Age at Death: 81 Date of Birth: 3 May 1929 Birth Place: Williams, Oregon, USA Date of Death: 11 Jan 2011 Source Location: West Jordan, Utah, USA Spouse: Marilyn Walker Children: Sandra (Susan) Richmond CA, Charlotte Carper (Brian) of Anchor Point AK, Debbie Lund (Bob), Sandy UT, and Earlene Rhien (Scott) Farmington NM Parents: Earl Whisler [Doris Edna Hedgepeth] Full Obituary: Theodore H. Whisler 5/3/1929 ~ 01/11/2011 Our loving husband, father, grandfather, and great grandfather passed away January 11, 2011. Ted was born on May 3, 1929 to Earl Whisler and Doris Edna Hedgepeth in Williams, Oregon. He graduated from Lakeview Oregon High School in 1947. He attended the University of Oregon and Southern Oregon College. He went to work at Safeway Stores at the age of 14 and worked for them for 9 years. He then fulfilled a dream by becoming a Police Officer in Medford, Oregon and worked there as a shift commander and started their Identification Division. In 1959, he went to work as an Insurance Adjuster for the worlds largest Insurance Adjusting firm and spent 35 years handling property claims, then went to work for the Travelers Insurance Company where he retired. He married Marilyn Walker, later divorced, and they were the parents of 3 daughters. In 1978, he married Carole Davis whom had a daughter. He is survived by: his wife, Carole; daughters, Sandra (Susan) Richmond CA, Charlotte Carper (Brian) of Anchor Point AK, Debbie Lund (Bob), Sandy UT, and Earlene Rhien (Scott) Farmington NM; 8 grandchildren and 9 great grandchildren. Funeral services will be held Saturday, January 15th at 2:00 p.m. at Redwood Memorial Mortuary, 6500 South Redwood Road, West Jordan, UT, with a viewing one hour prior to services. Online condolences at www.memorialutah.com

Chester Arthur Lusk

Well, another sad milestone to record.  My dear Grandfather, C. Art Lusk, passed away on August 18, 2011 in Oregon City, Oregon.  He had alzhiemers for many years as well as numerous health issues, but he outlived Grandma by 9 months.  He was the kindest, gentlest, sweetest man I've ever known and I loved him so much, my whole life.

I am so glad that he and my dear grandmother are together in heaven and I am so blessed to have the knowledge in my heart that he is restored and he remembers her and is with her and all his family. 

It is hard to lose all three of my anchors in such a short period of time, but I am surviving.  Ten or twenty years ago, I would not have survived losing even one of them, so my sadness is somewhat overcome by the victory of my growth.  Brian and Alicia have been so good to help me through all this, and of course their grief at losing these wonderful people is just as great as mine is.

Recovery, step 694,305,300,402

Unfortuately, the friend I was hoping had the answers didn't have the answers for me.  It kind of sounded like parts of my letter (like the parts from the beginning, through the middle, and towards the end) caught him a little by surprise.  Like I was saying, the crazy part about facebook reunions, is that one person usually isn't aware of the affect they had on another person's life.  One person can have larger than life memories about the other person and person number 2 barely remembers person number 1.  So I guess the secrets I was looking for will remain secret or missing.  I'm trying to decide that they weren't necessary to the journey I'm on anymore.

Brian's grant for his job was cut so he's looking for another job - probably doing the same thing but with a different age group or at a different school or agency.  Welding looks like it will be more profitable this summer which is a big help.  If we have a good welding summer, we don't need the work in the school year....but the economy has put such a damper on the welding business, it hasn't paid too well for a couple years.  We need another Greek millionaire who doesn't know what he's doing to come along and employ us for the summer.  That summer was golden.

Actually, if we could sell our house, we are ready to go to Ecuador.  Tired of 10 months of winter, cold all the time... no plants or trees that will grow in the garden.  I guess just ready to move on..

Brian's camera finally got here from Africa, so I'll post his africa pictures when I feel better.  He is having all his animals mounted or made into rugs, but they won't be here for at least another year.  Already dreaming and planning for his next trip and which animals he will look for then. 

OH, the recovery progress:  the exercise bike, in just 2 rides hurt my knees so bad that I sold it right away.  It wasn't the right piece of equipment for this stage in my body's recovery.  I HAVE lost a total of 27 pounds - still hundreds to go, but a very good start.  I have a goal of what I want to weigh before we move to Ecuador, so I still have lots of motivation to keep going.  The therapy program I'm using has you look at your past to find the roots of the problem, which I tried to do, and then you have to move on from there.  I think that being mentally crazy and physically disabled combined makes a journey difficult... and I have usually given up before.  I don't want to give up this time.  Because my mind doesn't always see things the way they were, I often turn to other people to ask their take on what happened, or what is happening.  I always assume , or at least hope, that they have an honest or clear impression of what really happened.. and no hidden agenda of their own that will taint their view of an event.   But of course, that is unrealistic.  We all see the parts of life that our eyes can see.  None of us EVER sees an event clearly and without our own agenda.  It's impossible.  Yet, that is what I am always looking for - the impossible, the perfect, the one that won't disappoint. 

It's too intense.  I drive people away from me with my intensity and my drama and my desire for all of life to be perfect.  I don't know if all the therapy in the world can fix that.

day one of exercise

3 minutes on the bike today.  figured I would only last one minute, so big victory.  my blood sugar dropped immediately.  cool

steps

One of the therapy programs the doctor has me on is that every day I have to either go outside or go up or down the stairs.  This time of year, I usually choose outside because we are waiting for spring to come and for the shore birds to return to our pond and baby moose to be born - stuff like that.  Last week we went out and saw that the rhubarb is coming up in the garden and that the raspberry plants look like they survived the winter.

Upstairs in my house is 1000 square feet of studio - half craft room mostly for scrapbooking and the other half a giant sewing room.  Craft and sewing space I have dreamed of my entire adult life.  There are 10 steps and a landing between me and that craft utopia.  The stairs are beautiful spruce wood - sanded and lacquared, very beautiful.  There is even a landing halfway up for resting. 

The first few steps, I do great.  sometimes, I don't even use my cane, I just bound up them like a mountain sheep.   but then I get to the landing and for some reason, I can't get up on it.  I switch legs and switch sides of my cane, I try to find things to grab.  I always get stalled stepping onto the landing.  The dogs find this annoying because the landing is where they spend their afternoons - watching for the UPS guy and Brian to come home from work.  They just look at me, like move it or lose it lady - we want the landing back.

The other night I was studying the steps from my chair in the living room - there is a post between my view and some of the steps and I kept trying to measure them in my mind, picturing me bounding up and down them with ease.  And I noticed that a step was missing near the landing.  I thought the post was blocking my view so I moved from side to side, trying to get a view of that step.  Finally, I figured out, there isn't one.  Alicia looked over with me and she grabbed a measuring tape and this is what we found:  step one is 5 3/4 inches.  very manageable for someone with little tiny short legs like mine.  next four steps were 7 1/2 inches.  about the maximum that I can comfortably manage. last step to the landing is a tiny bit over 10 inches.  TEN INCHES !!  No wonder I struggle on that step every time.  The newell posts are cobbled onto the stair case, so they are no help to use as leverage.  We said bad words about the man that built our house.  If he had pulled the steps out a couple inches, there would have been room for that last step and all the risers would have been closer to 6 1/2 or 7 inches. 

Turn the landing to finish the climb - next step is 5 1/2 inches. 

I do this funny thing in my mind when I think I can't tackle something because of my physical condition.   I bemoan the fact that I have lost this or that ability...  like one day Brian came home and found me crying because i wasn't strong enough to turn the water on or off in the bathroom.  I was so sad that I had lost that ability.  Turned out the faucet had broken - he couldn't turn it either.   I was getting so weak getting out of my recliner that I had to get a lift chair and let Brian have the recliner.  Turned out, the recliner is a bugger to close - he and Alicia have to really kick it to get it to close.  I wasn't getting weaker, the chair was wearing out.  stuff like that.  you know.  I panic, I worry, I feel sorry for myself.  so we have had a bit of a laugh (after a while, you have to laugh) about the stairs now.  It wasn't me at all - it was an idiotic build.  Haven't figured out what to do about it yet, but at least now we know it wasn't psychological or physical.  I just have short legs and the step is very tall. 

now that it is quiet

About a year ago, Alicia and I were watching a very intense episode of "Ruby" where the girls all went to fat camp and went thru intense therapy to try to find the reason for their weight problems.  All of the girls there put their weight back to something that happened with their dad.  I didn't think that really applied to me but I wanted to find out when my weight did start to be a problem, and son of a gun, it did start with something with my dad when I was a teenager.  I have been working on this problem for a year and unfortunately, my father died while I was in the middle of figuring it out.  Some of my family are very angry at me because I hadn't been close to my father in the last year as he was dying.  I figured this thing in my head needed to be puzzled out and my anger would pass - and I never discussed it with him, of course, he wasn't one to puzzle through emotions.  with him, things were or they weren't - there was no emotion and there was no puzzle.

Anyway, so he goes and dies right while I'm in the midst of figuring out this major life problem that has plagued me for the past 40 years and I kind of just checked out mentally when he died - living for the past few months mostly in my imagination and in a mild medicated state...  stuck because what little insight I had hoped to gain from him was obviously now on the other side of the veil.

Then I came across a friend of his from 40 years ago on Facebook and one of the final pieces of my puzzle fell right into place.  It is funny to reconnect with people on Facebook.  There are people that have influenced your life without knowing it and sometimes, they don't even remember you, but you remember them.  This isn't the only friend from 40 years ago that I have reconnected with that has helped put my fractured soul back together, but this one came along right when I needed the memory that he carried.  He holds other keys to my inner turmoils that I'm sure he doesn't know he carries, but for now I'll let them rest. 

The thing I learned this week is that I had options.  That is a big thing for me to realize.  My mom always says I only see things in black and white - I get stuck and can't see that I have options.  For many years I have blamed my father for what I went through in those years - he was too big and too strong for me to fight against.  But from here, I can see that I could have gone around him, but I think the methods to go around him would not have been entirely honorable; they were against the ways I had been taught and raised.  Maybe being raised in such a strict religious way does close off your options, maybe I was completely bound by my raising to see the options that I had.  Obviously, I was so bound that I did not go around him or the way he had raised me......  but could I have ?  Could that strength to tackle life be inside of me, hiding behind my religion and my upbringing and what would people think ?   I lost almost 5 pounds this week, so we'll see if the answer is here - if I have the strength and the ability to get out of this mold my father put me in.

NOISE !!!

I wonder sometimes why I never accomplish anything in the evenings and today I think I figured it out.  When I woke from my nap this afternoon, I had a hundred thoughts I wanted to write down and record to help me with a problem I've been stuck on and when I came out to the living room I couldn't remember any of them.  Just now Brian put the TV on pause so he could put dinner together and the thoughts came flooding back - well, some of them did, I fear some of them are lost forever.  It's the NOISE.  No one can think in this room when that TV is on.  It isn't just the sound really, but also the constant assault of insipid thoughts and stupidity of commercials and reality TV shows. 

It's funny because sometimes I think I am losing it mentally because I can't remember anything or accomplish anything and it is always good to realize it isn't me.... it's my environment. 

Time Marches On

Getting Brian all ready for his big safari to Africa next week.  Hard to believe after all these years, it is finally going to happen.  I'm sure we will have hundreds of pictures to load when he gets back.

We are still working through our grief over losing my dad and grandma.  It sneaks up on us - just a little something and you catch yourself wondering what he thinks of a subject or what he would say about this idea or that.  And then it just is there:  My dad is dead. 

For a few weeks I found myself not eating or sleeping, but I was looking up something else on the internet and ran across a WEB md article that said those are two of the signs of grief, so I got some pills to help me sleep and forced myself (with Alicia's help) to at least try to eat dinner and usually something for lunch or breakfast.  I was able to stop the pills after a couple weeks..  Having trouble eating again, but I'm sleeping okay. 

Alicia is sad too.  Life usually doesn't get her down, so this has been hard to help her with, but we are working through it together and it has been a big help to have someone who understands exactly what I'm feeling.  Usually, people don't get where I'm coming from.

I don't know if we will do the bathroom remodel next week or not.  We just have so little energy left after dealing with the grief, but we might rally and do it anyway.  If the refrigerator doesn't die completely and take all my limited budget to replace. Hope the highway comes through and pays us a decent price for our house.

Actually today, I got on to blog about my sweet neighbor, Melva.  She is failing quickly and only has a couple days left.  It will be so hard to lose her - like my grandma, she is the rock of their family and it will be hard to see them all going through the weeds like we are.  Lots of prayers to her and her family.

Sad, Sad Days

I can't believe it has been more than a year since I posted a blog.  I don't know where some of the year went, but I know what happened to most of it.

In early summer, my mother's mother, my dear Grandma Marian Lusk, and my father, Ted Whisler, both were hospitalized with serious health issues and over summer and fall both continued to struggle.

On November 7, 2010, My Grandmother passed away in Oregon City, Oregon.
On January 11, 2011, My Father passed away in Taylorsville, Utah.

I feel like my legs have been cut off and my heart ripped from my chest and thrown through a wood chipper. 

We will all miss them so very very much.

On a happier note, Brian's life long dream of a hunt in Africa will take place this year - in March, 2011.  We'll post pictures and stories when he gets back.

my new desk and quilt

For Christmas, Alicia made us a giant super king size quilt for our room.  I've included some photos that include the wall in the background that hopefully show that the red in the quilt is the same red as on the trim in our bedroom and library.  We have a queen size bed now but we are always fighting over covers, so she made it big enough that when we get our next bed some day, it will be plenty big enough for a king size bed and for us to fight over..  hahaha
As most of you know, I'm working on an extensive family history project and Brian was watching me one day struggle with our little computer desk, which was a family heirloom antique table.  Very treasured, but did not work at all for my project.  I hadn't said anything because I know money is tight right now because our business depends on other people having and spending money....  so being a grown up girl, I just decided to make do with my little table.
A week before Christmas, Justin and Alicia went to Soldotna - supposedly to get wood for him to build her a sideboard for her little kitchen downstairs.  There were lots of sneaky questions, like did I like typing with my text over to the right like that, and did I think the craft table was too high or too low, and one day, Justin sat at the computer table pretending he was talking to us and playing with his tape measure - but he actually was measuring my monitor and the height of the table and such.
There was lots of sawing and sanding and bringing furniture in thru the garage to dry on Alicia's floor and she told me not to look downstairs because on the other side of her present, my present was drying on the floor.. LIes, all LIES.
So finally Christmas Eve when it was time to open the presents, Brian opened all the front doors and went down and the three of them came up the outside stairs with this giant birch desk.  The edges are all trimmed with this beautiful carved leaf border. There are pull-out drawers for my scanner and for my printer. A built in holder where I hang the text - on the left - next to the monitor. Shelves that fit the little boxes where I keep the family history slips.  A huge table top to hold all the books and pictures and stuff that I need to put into the computer.  The wood is a light birch - the same color as the other wood in our living room.  I'm so excited.  I'll add some more pictures of the trim and the shelves and such, but this is the first of just the desk when it came upstairs.

Time to move for the month

Time to switch to the family christmas blog for a month or so. We haven't been blogging a lot since we have been on facebook, but facebook is only good for some kinds of communication. for the whole story, I think a blog is better.

so drop by and visit our whole family on the Christmas blog:

http://family-christmas.blogspot.com/

Before

Before again

A bit blurry, but a good view of the overall room

Mom wanted to make curtains with some really nice fabric that we used for table cloths at my wedding, but then I was looking on JCPenny, and they were having a huge sale, and we got these much cheaper than making them, and they are done! Turned out great I think, and much better than the blinds/towel hung up before. :) Now we just need to repaint the green, its a little faded.

Springtime in Alaska

I need to take some photos, I'm not sure how many posts I have started with that phrase, but I really mean it this time. hehehe

We didn't have a garden last year - it never dried up enough to till the garden so we grew a couple things in the little greenhouse Justin built up on the deck, but that was all. So the ground rested and got covered with a foot of goat bedding and manure. Plus the volcano ash that fell on it.

We have had a perfect spring. The ash really did melt the snow early and then it has just been warm and blue skies and perfect weather. I think this is the second time in 16 years we have had this kind of spring.

So our backyard got all dug up last year putting in the new septic system and Brian didn't want to plant it to grass - he hates to mow - so Alicia got the idea to put in a berry patch inside the fence where we can water it and tend it and hopefully it will grow. So they put manure in and tilled it a couple times and begged raspberries from everyone we know and then it rained for 4 days -a warm, light rain - and the berry plants look marvelous, darling, simply marvelous. At our other house in Anchor Point, we had excellent raspberries, so they do grow really well here, we just haven't had them in a good spot. keep your fingers crossed for us.

Anyway, back to the big garden. I had a physical therapy eval last week in Soldotna and it was a perfect spring/summer day so we stopped at one of their nurseries and got our standard 144 plants of broccoli, 2 zucchini, some celery, dill, pok choy and cabbage and seed potatoes. The seed potatoes at our nursery would have run around 150 dollars for the amoung we paid 18 dollars for in Soldotna. It is so frustrating to shop in Homer.

We had been buying seeds for the garden for months - it's how we get thru the winter. So Brian and Alicia went out one beautiful day and planted and planted - they got everything in except the peas which we couldn't find. I have cucumber and tomato seeds to start and grow in Justin's green house, but i haven't started them yet.

the little plants got a little beat up in the wind we've had for the past couple days, but they still look cool out there. I love watching a garden grow.

The mama and daddy crane are back - we see at least one of them almost every day - sometimes they are out together, but usually just one at a time, which means they are nesting again. We are so excited they came back this year. Last year was the first year they fledged a chick in our neighborhood.

A new mama moose had her baby in the neighborhood. She looks like one of the twins that was born here 2 years ago. She is small and this is her first baby. Hopefully the first of many that she will have here.

We are overrun with eagles this year. As near as we can tell, we have 6 pair nesting on the bluff below us. That's a lot of hungry chicks to feed. And they make no secret of still using our yard as a McDonald's drivethru. Poor kitty cat can't go outside until it's dark (from midnight to 3 -- no self-respectable cat thinks that is long enough to be out chasing tweety birds - not to mention that the tweety birds sleep during those hours as well. It is driving him crazy - he can hear his tweety birds singing in the day time, but no one will let him out -- and then when he does get to go out, there aren't any birds singing).

Alicia had to put netting over the goat pens so the eagles wouldn't take the baby goats. She ended up with the nanny, Gabby, who had a boy and a girl. One girl baby survived from the batch that died and she bought a billy goat baby that isn't related to any of the girls so we will have 3 nannies and one billy. The billy that Gabby birthed will be sold. We decided to not name them after TV characters anymore - we don't know how their story lines will go. So Gabby is still Gabby from Desperate housewives, but her kids are Mr. Tumnus, the fawn and Lucy - the characters from Narnia. Our favorite new book of 2008. Oh, so Susan the other nanny baby is still called Susan, but instead of being Susan from Desperate Housewives, she is Susan from Narnia. and the Billy we are keeping is Billy Bob Thornton... which has nothing to do with Narnia but it seemed to fit him. hehehehe

A girl from our ward in Pendleton when we were girls found me on facebook and she has a bunch of friends from the ward there that she is on facebook with. Her name is Cathy Udy - her dad was so nice to always try to keep that stupid blue car of mine running. It's strange to be in touch with someone from my teen years - I miss having contact with people from my past. It has been so hard the past 30 years because Brian has been surrounded by everyone he ever met and I haven't had anyone to be in touch with. Especially losing 5 friends this past year, I am very aware of how much those people from our past meant to me.

Have you see the pics of the eagles on Alicia's blog?? they are incredible

Baby Goats

Gabby had two little babys the other night! They are happy and healthy, so far, fingers crossed. They are cute and playful, maybe some good news finally. She will post pictures soon.

Raspberries

Alicia and I went to some friends house today and dug up a bunch of raspberry plants, to plant in our new berry patch, that we tilled up in the back yard. So far we have 3 rows of raspberries and a row of strawberrys. Mom wanted some for her birthday, so there you go! Still rainy here, no good fishing so far, but maybe soon. Always optimistic!

No Cancer

I forgot to post on the blog - I posted on FACEBOOK and called a few people, but for the rest of you here's the good news.

They didn't find any cancer at all. I am going to stay on hormones, the doctor says probably for the rest of my life, which is fine because the really help me feel better. They we will continue to follow up with check-ups every 4 months, but he doesn't anticipate that for the immediate future, anyway, that he will find any cancer.

WHEW - a whole year of my life wasted on worry, but a good result. I'm a little discouraged that they won't be doing any of the other surgeries. I was looking forward to having the giant hernia fixed, but after the funny German doctor explained to us how they would fix it, we all agreed that didn't sound very promising.

so life goes on as before - except I'm back on hormones. the really funny part is that this condition was diagnosed and treated successfully by our country doctor in Oregon, when Alicia was 1 year old. the doctors here took me off the hormones when I came to Alaska because they didn't understand why I was on them. The treatment plan I am on now, is exactly what was prescribed for me 28 years ago and if they had just kept following it, none of this would have happened.

Oh well. We are now busy with summer. Brian is done at the school and is busy welding. The fish aren't here yet - the salmon - a friend took him out halibut fishing last week so we have had our first fresh halibut of the year. Memorial Day was so early this year the king salmon aren't back yet so that fishing is really slow. Plus, we don't know how many will return because there were those 2 years of giant floods that wiped out many baby salmon - obviously those salmon won't be returning to the river to spawn, so it could be a slow run this year.

Two of the baby goats died this week. Two still live. The goat lady is on her way over right now to check Gabby and she is going to come over when Gabby is ready to deliver in case we need help. The trouble that Gabby might have is that she is really tiny and might need help getting the babies out. She seems really healthy and is still running all over her barn and yard and is eating and drinking.

The kids have more and more boats coming to launch. Not as many as we had hoped, but enough to pay the bills. Justin's brother-in-law walked off the job one day and somehow got someone at the Anchorage airport to pay his ticket to Albequrque (SP?) . so they had to hire another water boy. It turned out to be the son of a guy on the Time Bandit. 6 degrees of separation.... hehehe. Anyway, we are all fans of Deadliest Catch and Eddy's dad came and launched at the boat launch and Cordell got to meet him and have his picture taken with him so he is all atwitter with excitement. Eddy's dad (I think his name is Eddy, too?? ) is the Polynesian fellow - one tough fisherman. A couple seasons ago, he fished the entire crab seasons on a broken ankle.

Now Justin's sister and the kids want to go home, too, but they don't have the money to since her husband took all the money with him that they had. So everyone is a little on edge right now. We have had what we presume to be the swine flu. And that doesn't help anything. Alicia is going back and forth between treating the ulcer and treating the flu. She had a fever of 102 for 3 days, but Justin gave her a blessing and it finally came down to 99.

Brian and Justin are both still coughing and weak. We are hoping that this will give us immunity for the winter. I have hardly been sick at all, just mostly some muscle soreness, but I have lived thru 4 epidemics of this flu before, so i seem to have more immunity to it than the others.

Hope you don't get it. LOVE YOU ALL - Have a great summer.
OH- we have swallows, yellow legs, 2 kinds of ducks, a pair of cranes, and a mama moose hanging around our pond. WAY COOL. Also 3 pair of bald eagles nesting across the street, but you know how we feel about that. Darn vultures ! ! !