Charlotte's big day

Our choir director at church lost one of her sons this week. Her kids that came up for the funeral were leaving this afternoon, so I called and asked if I could lead the choir for her and she said, yes, please, and would you please play the organ for Sacrament meeting, as it is her turn to play ( we have 5 organists that take turns - none is that good really, and we've lost 2 of them this week to moving). So there wasn't anyone else to play the organ.... so I got to pick the songs. I only know 2 sacrament hymns - I have about 12 or 15 other songs I can sort of play. Alicia and Justin went to Palmer for the State Fair and to visit some friends, and just have a weekend away ( I think they wanted to skip out on the children's sacrament program, but they said that was an unfounded rumor).

So, I also volunteered to teach Alicia's young women's class. So, Friday, I had to drive myself to town to see my doctor and that was weird - I haven't driven in MONTHS or even years. Thank goodness for cruise control. I couldn't keep track of what my feet were supposed to be doing and what my arms and eyes were supposed to be doing. Made it safe and sound - even went to 2 banks and didn't hit anything going thru the drivethrus.

Friday night I had to make 4 dozen rolls for the funeral - and I haven't baked in YEARS, especially not bread, and not by myself.... I kept telling myself, I can buy rolls, no one will notice. But I knew I would notice and this was a special friend that would make home made rolls if I had a funeral, so I made 2 batches of potato dough in the bread machine and formed them into rolls and baked them - the last ones came out about 12:30 am - right after Brian got home from work.

Then, of course, I had to drive my self into the funeral because the kids were still gone and Brian was working. I don't usually do funerals, but, again, she would come if we had one. She is a very kind and loving and self-less person and would do anything for anybody. So I went to the funeral and while they all went to the cemetery, I practiced the organ a bit. The chorister was there and worked a little on our timing and such, so felt a little more confident, but still had a major panic attack last night. I called Brian finally and he was already on the way home, so I was okay. It was one of those situations where usually I would just take more tranquilizers to calm down, but knew that I had to be so on top of my game physically and mentally today, that I didn't dare take any extra to calm down.

He was teasing me about being an over-achiever and stuff like that - then today, when he had to cart all my accessories he was complaining about my need to travel lighter, but he carried everything.

So I directed the choir for practice and to perform- since it was the children's program, we sang a song to them - "A child's prayer". It was really difficult to get the adults to get how to sing it, but fortunately we got a bunch of the young women to come up and help us and it turned out really well. Then I went staight to the organ and played. I could use work on my ingress and egress, I don't practice introductions, and I will need to start doing that. But it went REALLY well. The congregation could recognize the songs and I had like 3 mini-tiny baubles, but there were so many people there, I don't think they could hear them. Our organ is not designed to be played for 2 huge rooms, so when we have 300 people here for summer meetings and have to open up the back, the organ isn't loud enough. But it was a good beginning for me.

I did lose feeling in my lower back and legs and yesterday, the chorister and I had already talked about how hard it is for me to get on and off the organ bench ( my feet are a good 6 inches from reaching anything). I glanced over at her during the sacrament and she signaled that she would come over and help me get down, so she did and I limped down to my seat with brian for the meeting, then booked it back up for the closing song.

This is SUCH a huge triumph for me. I have only been able to go to church about 6 times this whole year because of my agoraphobia, so to be able to go, in the summer, and play and perform in front of 300 people, is a major, major victory. YAY !!! Please keep me in your prayers that I didn't over do it and will now backslide - I don't think I will, but I can surely use your prayers.

Dr. Burgess is starting me on another new medication this week - finally addressing the pain issue, I'm hoping for great success. Keep your fingers crossed. Have a good week everyone - I know I will !!! -----IT'S COLLEGE KICK OFF WEEK!!!!! TRIPLE YAY'S ALL AROUND.
Love, Charlotte